Our Writers

Diddly kind of runs things around here now; plays Xbox 360 and PS3 mostly, but has been known to fiddle with other, less friendly formats. Thinks ALL PCs are just jumped-up calculators with attitude problems...

Hario is now our very own digital designer. He sometimes plays WoW, FIFA 11 and certain iPhone games, and avoids anything good like the plague in case he gets addicted.

Jensen Buttons
The racing game specialist, doesn't really like a game unless it involves him speeding around with his arse inches from the ground. A PSP/3 lover, can always be found secretively fiddling with a nub stick or a Sixaxis.

'Big Tony' Bolognese
The big man in the waste management industry, dark glasses and a dark attitude. A real games player, you can take his opinion to the bank.

Mike Honsole
#1 console super-fan, sold his nan to buy an XBox, hates PCs with a passion. Donated Grandad's kidneys to buy a 360, now sleeps with his PS3.

Sloppy Sneak
The master of stealth, he tragically lost his shaver in tricky combat situation, he's also slightly overweight... Ahhh let's face it, the man is a mess but he's been playing games so long that we value his input.

Mal Function
Badly injured during the Robot Wars of '97 and still suffering from amnesia, Mal is Gamecell's resident Mech/Robot expert. Currently in love with a gorgeous young lady Dyson...

Princess BB
Our girly gamer, pretends to only like friendly puzzly games and The bloody Sims, when in fact she enjoys nothing more than blasting your face off in GTA IV, Halo or CoD.

Masonic Dragicoot the Rubbish Mascot
He can jump, climb, swing, roll, breath fire and fix your taps - He's Masonic, Gamecell's totally un-original, un-imaginative mutant-hybrid mascot, and is in fact a pseudonym we use when a review is done by more than one writer.

Jocky is what we call 'computer literate', which is just as well because it's dead hard to read anything else he writes about.

Our full-time sub editor and tea girl. The fact is that she's the only reason anything ever gets done around here, she is now an experienced Kinect user, and occasionally plays real games too...

A film buff and gadget freak, his DVD collection would fill a small house (already has actually). Likes his games too, but he's a picky sod who's knows what he likes (and doesn't).

Stevo won a competition, and all he won was the dubious "prize" of getting to write for Gamecell, and not even a T-Shirt - poor sod. Plays anything put in front of him, whether that be bizarro Japanese games or CoD-style shooters.

Strong, Quiet, Intelligent, Modest, Hates Hondas & Sheep, Good at racing games - all things that you'd never say when describing our mate DC...

Can often be found hanging around an online game arena full of dead bodies, with a smoking gun and a dirty smile (or a dirty gun and a smoky smile)

4th Decade
4thy loves his games regardless of how many boobs are in them, but is firmly convinced there is world-wide conspiracy to restrict cleavage sizes in games. His tireless, Gamecell-backed campaign for bigger breasts starts here. 4thy has been missing for a while now, but we like his avatar so...

Whether it's Tomb Raider or Halo, Rambi knows how to play (and die) in style, and she understands those stoopid dancing games too!

Captain Magenta
Captain Magenta is our flight sim expert, but despite that he seems quite normal and friendly to talk to... (honest)

Our Scoring System

What You See
What It Means
On no account buy this game. AVOID. No, in fact - do us all a favour, buy this game then take it home and destroy it.
This game was apparently made by chimps for chimps, are you a chimp? Us Gamecell monkeys played this so you don't have to.
Steer clear of this game, even if it's cheap, in fact, pay someone to not buy it for you.
Expect this game as a present from your Nan next Christmas - I recommend asking for socks or deodorant in advance.
Look up 'average' in the dictionary and there might just be a picture of this game.
A flawed title, but not a terrible one, could be fun if you're bored or a complete fan of the genre.
Could've been great, turned out to be just good, only worth your dosh if it's burning the leg off your trousers.
A decent game that's well worth your hard earned money. Not a classic, but a good, solid title. There are better alternatives around though.
Couldn't get much better, not an essential purchase but close enough - oh go on, buy it.
Sell everything to buy this game. You need to play it, in fact, why aren't you playing it NOW?

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