|Conspiracy: Weapons of Mass Destruction|
Publisher: Oxygen Interactive
Release Date: Out Now
Conspiracy: Weapons of Mass Destruction - ever heard of it? No, me neither. Now there are usually two reasons why a game is unheard of until release:
1. It is in fact a great game but due to its low budget couldn’t afford the publicity of a major game release. See Ico. Or:
Now try and guess which category this game falls into…
Conspiracy reeks of cliché like a tramp reeks of urine, and neither are a pretty sight. You play as Cole Justice, an ex-member of “the agency” (now nearing fifty) brought in to stop a once Government-funded-now-rogue organisation called “Hydra” from making WMDs and selling them on to whoever’s got a few spare bob lying around. To be honest, I wasn’t paying attention; after I heard the hero’s name my mind was occupied by thoughts of who would look better as a Cole Justice- Jean-Claude Van Damme or Chuck Norris… (Someone cheaper and older maybe).
There are several moments in the game, most of which I picked from the first level, where you just have to wonder how people could work on this game without breaking into fits of laugher mid-code:
If you are stupid (or bored) enough to die, the screen goes black, a sombre piano melody comes on, and “Cole Justice 1954-2005” comes on the screen, followed by:
“ We will all miss you, Cole”
It seemed like more work had been put into this funeral death-screen than into the main parts of the game, and that’s what made me laugh. Perhaps out of pity. But that pity soon turned to anger when I found out that if you die more than once, the same scene which was funny at first becomes long and tedious, and you wonder if it’s possible to slit your wrists with a joypad…
Conspiracy: Weapons of Mass Destruction is so shoddy a game that it’s crossed over into the “so crap it’s funny” category. Yes, it’s a budget title But please don’t buy it. Leave that for the drunk guys who stumble into the Esso after closing time and spot twenty copies in a bargain bin, next to the two-for-one de-icer. Suckers. The trick with budget games is to make them look and feel like a full-priced game, or make them so cheap that you don’t mind a few niggles -Kuju haven’t done either.
- It’s the funniest game you’ll ever play!
- It’s the most tedious game you’ll ever play…
- Not cheap enough