Well let’s cut to the chase (whatever that means) – this all-girl “wrestling” game is completely and utterly voyeuristic. The girls, their voluptuous bodies, skimpy outfits (mostly bikinis) and the all-important camera angles are all designed to make you go PHWOAR… or something…Anyway, here's some screenshots!
Oh, and there’s a wrestling game in there too – not the most complex to be honest, but then I was always too busy getting an eyeful of wobbly boobs and thrusting buttocks to bother trying for anything as complex as combos – just hammer away at the triangle button to grab, or the square button to attack and see what happens. Then when you’ve fought your way through the painfully scripted “story” mode with all its stupid rivalries, and beaten the robotic boss girlie, you can ogle at your wrestler in the highly suspect “gallery” mode, which allows you to rotate and zoom the camera all around her as she stands there with her pert breasts heaving and… Umm...Time for more screens I reckon.
If this all sounds a bit sad then that’s probably because it is, but there’s clearly a market for this sort of thing out there so let’s not get on any high horses and just say that Rumble Roses plays a competent, if rather repetitive game of wrestling. And let’s face it; I’d rather have one of these girls’ butts waving in my face than Stone Cold Steve Austin’s. The girls are smoothly modelled and animated (realistic bodies with anime-esque heads), and their boobs are all working on the same sort of bizarre time/gravity scale as the Dead Or Alive girls’ - so you know what to expect. Screen time? - I think so.
The moves are fairly simple and some seem almost automatic after a bit of practice, but you can still taunt opponents (even torture and tease them), humiliate them, jump on the ring posts or ladders, roll out of the ring (press circle), hook someone’s leg from the outside, and pick up weapons from ringside. As you pound on your opponent and perform successful grapples two gauges fill up, when full these allow you to perform lethal or killer (L1) or humiliation moves (L2) on your opponent. You know what? - We haven't had a look at any screen shots for what seems like hours so...
Each of the 10 original girls (ranging from kinky nurses to cowgirls and Britney look-alikes) have a new set of costumes and an alter ego that you unlock when you complete the game, and they all have trademark moves to learn. Sadly they all end up fighting the same stupid robotic boss which is a bit unimaginative when compared to say, Tekken’s individual nemeses. There are three different difficulty settings and you can define match lengths and the speed at which the lethal and humiliation move gauges fill up.
I guess you know already know whether you want this game from the screenshots, and if you close your eyes and take it on playability alone, there are certainly worse wrestling games out there.
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