If you ever thought it would be cool to see what things were like from the point of view of the Roswell aliens, or those mean little guys from Mars Attacks, or maybe even those uglies from Independence Day, then Destroy All Humans! is the game for you.
Set in a comic-book 50s-style America, the game sees you playing the role of the wise cracking, big-headed and grey-skinned Cryptosporidium 137, an alien warrior sent to Earth to clear the way for the full might of the Furon invasion force set on harvesting human DNA by removing brain stems in the most violent way possible. Yep, instead of playing the big gravel-voiced hero who has to defeat the alien invasion, this time you’re the ‘bad guy’ as the tables are turned on the classic Alien vs. Human storyline. Should Crypto get killed then his boss (called ‘Pox’) simply clones another Crypto and off you go again, for instance, by the end of the game I’d got to Crypto ‘144’. Viewed from a close behind third-person view, Crypto has a rather underpowered and short-lived but rechargeable jet pack and a selection of upgradeable weapons Zap-O-Matic, Disintegrator Ray, Ion Detonator etc. (new ones are added and researched during the game, and can be purchased using the game’s currency which is harvested DNA) to help exterminate human life – just as well as the number of humans set on Crypto’s destruction is limitless, and includes armed Cops, Soldiers, men in black, missiles, tanks and even giant robots. One of Crypto’s most enjoyable abilities is his PK power (psycho kinesis), and after some ‘research’ he can even throw tanks and trucks around – cool or what?
As you explore and complete missions in the 5 varied and sizeable environments you get to scan, hypnotize and even disguise yourself as humans, but the main bulk of the game is pure blasting and destruction. This is where the game is at its best as the weapons effects look great and buildings collapse in satisfying clouds of flame and dust as you wreak destruction everywhere, enhanced by Havok physics, ragdoll and all. This is all fine and great, and the game does try to add some variation with stealthier missions (you have a GTA-style level-of-alert gauge to rein in your havoc-making), flying saucer missions and GTA-style side-missions and races, but the overall repetitiousness and lack of real freedom (you can only land your saucer at certain landing sites) mean that DAH! Soon feels a lot more linear and restrictive than it at first might promise - several games have tried to give the GTA wide-open "sandbox" thing a different slant; True Crime, Driv3r, Scrapland and Pandemic's very own Mercenaries to name but a few, but none have yet given the same amount of freedom, variation and addictive entertainment that Rockstar's games supply, whatever they have it truly is gaming's equivalent of "lightning in a bottle", and it's about time all the others figured out what it is...
DAH! is packed with familiar and popular Sci-Fi references, and one of the worst sci-fi films ever made, Plan 9 From Outer Space, features heavily in the game (it’s even showing at the drive in). The entire game has been given a wonderfully 50s-feeling gloss of B-Movieness, from the comic book-looks to the settings to the titles right through to the voice acting (Crypto sounds like Jack Nicholson being as nasty as only he can).
Sadly, DAH! Turns out to be more like Plan 9 From Outer Space than perhaps it wanted to be, and has some gameplay faults that are just about as old as the ancient B-movie too. We’ve said this plenty of times before in Gamecell reviews, but developers please note: GAMERS HATE RESPAWNING ENEMIES, unless of course ammo is unlimited and it suits a basic kind of shoot ‘em up action - but DAH! tries to be much more than that, and you will constantly feel that having annihilated hundreds of puny humans and their pathetic weapons you earned the right to explore the maps at your leisure, but oh no, the game’s smart AI will constantly chase you around and force you into searching non-stop for ammo top-ups (and I don’t remember the Mars Attack or Independence Day aliens doing a whole lot of that), and sometimes you just can’t seem to get the alert level to settle back down, regardless of how long you lay low or try to blend in. The game will let you return to the mother ship (saving progress in the process) and then start the level anew, but as there are no mid-mission saves, but this obviously isn’t always what you want to do. There are also some disappointing graphical glitches with lots of pop-up (or fade-up to be more accurate) and times when Crypto hovers above or sinks inside an object he’s supposed to be standing on. Also when looking sharply up or down too often you can’t see what you want to, or hit it when your weapon’s sights suggest you should be able to.
Pandemic have already produced titles such as Full Spectrum Warrior, Star Wars Battlefront and Mercenaries, and are becoming one of the most prominent studios around, always producing quality games that I can’t wait to see, but sometimes they seem to just miss the mark due to gameplay flaws that maybe could and should have been sorted out before release. Destroy All Humans fits this description perfectly, and it would be easy to skim over its faults and rate it up there with its stablemates, but the fact is that this potential blockbuster ended up being no more than a B-Movie disappointment.
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