You Suck At Parking


A game that says "you suck... but you want one more go!"


You Suck At Parking instantly reminded me of the classic top-down racers like the Micro Machines games, but a cosmetic similarity of the view is the only thing they have in common and there's more to it than just racing.

The objective is always to traverse a course as quickly as possible and stop in a parking zone–you don't have to be very accurate, as long as any part of the car is in the zone it counts. As you progress the number of parking zones per test increases, and they quickly get more and more complicated. It's a good job you get a chance to have a look around before you start a level.

Your score on each level and your position in the world is displayed after each successful level, so you can see just how much you suck at parking, and also how other people suck even more.

The cop cars are extremely aggressive and chase you until they catch you or crash!

The game's controls are simple; steering with the left stick, throttle on the right trigger and brakes on the left trigger. There's no reverse gear so your approach has to be perfectly judged. You will also often have to maintain a certain speed because there may be slopes or jumps on the route, or later on rotating fans (that suck or blow you offline), traffic and even cop cars to dodge. Your vehicle also gobbles up fuel as long as you have "your foot on the gas" so you may have to manage that carefully as well, coasting where possible and not zigzagging too much.

Icy levels are just as slippery as you'd expect!

As you'd expect, the difficulty ramps up, and maybe too dramatically for some, but you can pass a level without actually "mastering" it. There's a host of DLC with more cars, tracks, paint colours, lives and other enhancing extras available at launch, and loads more planned.

The online multiplayer allows for up to 8 players.

YSAP has a simultaneous competitive online mode for up to 8 players that is just as hectic as you'd expect it to be, and is one of those rare games that you don't have to be any good at to enjoy. Placing well in a round or watching other players struggle to get to parking slots that you've already completed is very satisfying, but getting bumped off a cliff by another player is not. The AI cars are purely there to mess you up, and cop cars will end your run if they catch you. I felt YSAP needed a split screen mode to make it the full package.

It's hard to dislike YSAP, its simple graphics and gameplay didn't keep me engaged for long periods, but it did keep drawing me back for a "quick blast" with its addictive brand of gameplay and highly competitive online mode.

Thanks to: Happy Volcano, PressEngine and Renaissance PR for the review code